Reason Mom of 2 Insists on Only Helping One Daughter out Financially Backed

A woman's post about a financial dilemma between her two daughters has gained support on Reddit, where the mom explained that her older girl inherited money but is upset at the parents for helping out her younger sister, who missed out on the cash. The viral Reddit post—titled "AITA for telling my daughter if she pays for her sister's college then I will stop 'favoring' her with my money"—tells how the woman's own mother, the girls' grandmother, had created a fund to support both girls when she died, but it turned out older daughter Shelly was the only name on the fund, making it legally hers. Younger sister Grace was left with nothing when the gran died unexpectedly, so her parents have been trying to help her financially—sparking a row with Shelly. The mom, posting as u/Plenty_Spot_9191, has been backed by other Reddit users for trying to balance her daughters' financial situations, and has gained over 11,000 upvotes in the two days since she shared her post. While Shelly has been able to use her gran's fund for her college degree and future home, Grace is in college, working a student job that requires a car. The mom said she and her husband plan to buy Grace a car.

"My husband and I have been scrambling to give as much money as possible to Grace since she really got screwed over," she wrote in the post. "Shelly found out about us getting the car and is pissed." The mother wrote that Shelly felt her parents were "favoring" Grace and was upset that she never got a car from them too. "We argued for a while and I had enough," the poster said. "I told her that if she pays for her sister's college then I will stop favoring her sister with my money. She called me a jerk, and isn't responding." In a comment, the mom said that half of the fund would amount to around $200-300k, and that her and her husband would never be able to give Grace the full amount to balance the scales. Reddit users were shocked at the amount, and at Shelly's behavior. "I think my jaw hit the floor on that amount. Shelly, to be quite honest and blunt, sounds like a complete a******. Shelly basically hit the lottery and is bit***** about a used car her sister is going to get," one user wrote. "Your older daughter was very selfish to not split the money knowing it was what her grandmother wanted ... I can't imagine this isn't going to destroy a lot of relationships in the family," another poster said. Lindsay Bryan Podvin, a financial therapist (LMSW, CFT) spoke to Newsweek about the situation, the importance of being prepared and the larger discussion of financial tension within families. "This is a heartbreaking and real-life example of the importance of updating legal documents to be aligned with your wishes," she said. In this situation, Podvin said much of the dilemma and debate lie in assumptions. "The tension comes from assumptions about how we'd want our financial wishes to be honored, what we think we'd do if we had additional money, and how we wish others would manage their money," Podvin said. "Things get messy and tense without clear, compassionate, and repeated communication." Podvin urged families and loved ones to have open conversations about the future in advance—and, importantly, to reflect those conversations in legal documents. "As awkward or uncomfortable as it might seem to talk about money with your family before a challenging situation (like death or divorce) happens, it becomes far more painful to speak about it only after the complicated situation comes to fruition." The Reddit mom added a note saying that her mother's plan was to wait and build up more money before splitting it when Shelly went to college, but she died before that could happen. Do you have a monetary dilemma? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.