Spouse Revealing They've Never Liked Sister-in-Law Backed: 'Broke Rules'

A young husband has asked Reddit if he is being an a****** after a tricky interaction with his sister-in-law. In a post on the r/AmItheA****** (AITA) subreddit, where users post about their interpersonal conflicts, Financial-Read378 describes his 19-year-old sister-in-law Alexa as a brat, explaining that she lives with him and his wife as her parents live abroad. He explains that he has known his wife for a long time but that they have only been married for two years. Of his sister-in-law, he said: "It's like she exists to make my wife's life miserable. She's arrogant, rude, entitled, nasty. "She constantly broke rules and none of her teachers ever liked her. She refused therapy. I'm amazed at the patience and kindness my wife has because the girl was a nightmare. The second Alexa went to college we got married." In an unwanted twist, the OP, who is 30, describes how the sister-in-law recently came home for the holidays and confessed she had feelings for him. "I lost it and told her I don't like her," he says, "I never liked her, and I was only nice to her because it would make my wife happy. I told her I only put up with her spoiled self to be with my wife and I was annoyed whenever she intruded. Alexa started sobbing and ran out.

"I told my wife everything and she said I was right to turn her down but [I] didn't have to be so harsh. She thanked me for being honest. Her parents are furious. I've gotten a bunch of weird text messages from what I suspect are Alexa's friends." Newsweek spoke to Ruth E. Freeman, founder and president of Peace at Home Parenting Solutions about this tricky situation. "The nature of the AITA question is that someone is taking the time to reflect on their behavior and wondering if it is OK. Honestly, that is a great first step in unraveling the mystery of human relationships," Freeman said. "Most people really don't like to question their own behavior and if more folks did that, life would improve a lot," she said. "So back to our self-reflective brother-in-law. Kudos for taking time to think about how you are treating your young sister-in-law. He has been put in a complicated situation and it sounds like up until this recent incident, he has managed his behavior well. "In spite of feeling frustrated by his sister-in-law's actions, he has treated her kindly. And, she clearly needed that. First, let's keep in mind that from the ages of 12 to 24, the human brain is under re-construction. It is a challenging period of development, ask the parents of any teen. The pleasure center in the brain is more active than at any other time and cues the teen to seek activities that make them feel good. "Sometimes the emotional center of the brain gets disconnected from the thinking center and you have only pure emotion. The brain cues the teen to seek peers as though their life depends on it because, in fact, teens need at least one or two close peers to successfully launch. The list of challenges goes on and on for teens and for their caregivers. In this case, this young person was sent away by her parents at a time when she needed them most. "Her sister is not a parent and she took on an enormous burden that probably very much affected her relationship. We have an adolescent here who not only had trouble performing important tasks like success in school, but now has confused feelings…and places herself in a miserable triangle by declaring romantic feelings. "It sounds like her disclosure made the OP extremely uncomfortable and he lashed out at her in response. So, the answer from this therapist's point of view is that no, he is not an 'a******' but he may want to think about expressing his discomfort about her behavior in a more constructive way. "It is never really helpful to ourselves or anyone else to criticize or verbally attack others. It works better if you describe to them the emotions that their past or present behavior triggers in you and what behaviors you want from them in the future." User burningmanonacid commented: "I suspect that the sister only 'confessed her feelings' because she's a pot stirrer. Probably only wanted to start s*** with OP which she would be able to do either way: turning her down or taking her up on those feelings." User CautiousSector2664 wrote: "This is an excellent post and great advice. Do not trust that brat OP. Don't let her into your house. She wants revenge." User swagdaddio69 said: "She's an adult and needs a reality check for her past behavior. The problem isn't what you did, it's that no one did it before. Her parents have no right to be upset since they passed off the job of parenting to your wife." Newsweek has reached out to Financial-Read378 for comment but it has not been possible to confirm all details of the case.

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