Mom-of-Three's Honesty About New Pregnancy Sparks Debate: 'Not Excited'

An expectant mom has opened up about her feelings regarding her fourth pregnancy in an incredibly candid post. It appears that she is not alone when she acknowledges that she is not feeling excited. On February 4, Christy Ruiz, 36, filmed herself lying in bed and explained: "I am pregnant and I am not excited." The 36-year-old from San Diego, California, told Newsweek: "I am grateful for my children and my current feelings don't mean I am going to love my son any less when he arrives." The physician assistant has three boys aged 12, 9, and 2; she explained that the first two pregnancies were enjoyable as she was much younger, but the third was traumatic and she suffered from postpartum depression.

According to CDC research, about one in eight women with a recent live birth experience symptoms of postpartum depression. Newsweek has also reached out to two experts to discuss the mental illness. Ruiz told Newsweek: "Growing a baby is going to be OK—I just don't feel the same excitement as I did before. It has a lot to do with postnatal depression taking over and normal life stress."

Read more

• Postpartum depression: Can it be prevented?
• "I wanted to put a knife into my baby": Moms on their postpartum psychosis
• I cried at my gender reveal because I don't want a son—What should I do?

Ruiz explained that she had been diagnosed with depression last year but she decided to come off antidepressants when she found out she was pregnant in November. However, after the holidays were over, she told Newsweek that she didn't feel like herself. "It was a planned pregnancy but I didn't think it would happen that quickly, I was on medication prior and we had family around, Thanksgiving and Christmas. I was on a high when conceived. "But then I became numb about it and not excited," she told Newsweek. During the clip posted to @chasinghealthgoals, Ruiz states she feels "guilty" and a "little odd." She points out that usually she hurries to download a pregnancy app, hang photos of the scans on the fridge, plan the nursery, accumulate a list of names, and pick outfits, whereas this time she hasn't done any of the above. She asks: "Is this normal with multiple pregnancies?"

She told Newsweek: "I was already feeling this way before finding out the gender, however, after three boys, I would be more excited if it was a girl, "It would have been a whole new world and something new, I think every time we are in a rut, change helps us get out of the negative feelings quicker. "People suggested doing things I am not doing to see if I could get excited, I started looking at baby clothes and that did stir up some excitement. but I haven't done anything else, it feels forced. "None of that means I will love my child less any more when he comes, as my belly grows and I see more ultrasounds then I'm sure my feelings will change." Ruiz told Newsweek that she decided to share her feelings online as sometimes it's easier to speak to strangers than her close ones. However, she has told her husband exactly how she feels and has seen a psychiatrist. She has also started taking a lower dose of antidepressants again, as suggested by her doctor.

What Is Postpartum Depression?

Alisa Kamis-Brinda, a psychotherapist, spoke to Newsweek about postpartum depression. The owner of Serenity Solutions, LLC, a group psychotherapy practice in Philadelphia, explained that a mother can be diagnosed during pregnancy and up to one year after the birth of the child. She said: "If someone does not receive treatment during the time that they are experiencing symptoms, their symptoms can continue, leading to a non-postpartum depression diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder. "Additionally, someone who is struggling with symptoms of postpartum depression can experience everyday consequences as a result of the depression, which could put them at risk for ongoing depression."

What Are the Symptoms of Postpartum Depression?

We also spoke to Colleen Marshall, a family therapist based in Poway, California. The vice president of Clinical Care at Two Chairs said: "Some of the signs and symptoms that may indicate a need for additional evaluation and assistance are a mother who is experiencing intrusive and repetitive thoughts about harm coming to her baby, while also engaging in avoidance behaviors to minimize the perceived threat to their child and in order to minimize being triggered. "Many women will also display a great deal of guilt and shame surrounding these intrusive thoughts and may become so preoccupied within their own fear and apprehension, that they may report finding it difficult to bond with their child. "Women may exhibit a number of signs of postpartum mental-health decline, such as becoming very labile (feeling unstable), an increased sense of hyper-vigilance, poor self-care, social isolation, not allowing others to engage with the child, and an overall decline in their baseline functioning."

What Do the Comments Say?

So far, the video has racked up 487,300 views and over 12,000 likes. There has been a mixture of comments ranging from disappointed to supportive. One user said: "Girl I cried my entire 5th pregnancy ... I DID NOT WANT ANOTHER ONE. I just had her and she is perfect. It's OK to feel this way. Your feelings are valid." "I had perinatal depression with my third. It's so hard because everyone keeps telling you how happy you should be, and you can't control it," said another. A third commenter said: "This is really hard to hear. SO MANY women that can't even have ONE. Then you see women that may not even deserve to be moms have multiples and take it for granted." Speaking about the backlash, Ruiz told Newsweek: "Everyone is always going to have opinions, no matter what you post on the internet. "I try never to be mean back—everyone's feelings are valid." Anyone seeking help should call The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline, a free and confidential hotline available 24/7 that can be reached on 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262). The Hotline also provides information on local resources. For more information visit https://mchb.hrsa.gov/national-maternal-mental-health-hotline If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.