Man Backed for Divorcing Wife After Seven Months: 'Impossible to Forgive'

Anne Thompson

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A husband's "rash decision" to divorce his wife of less than a year has been backed by users on Reddit. In a post shared on Reddit on July 3 under the username twowheeled_loser, the 27-year-old husband wrote that he and his wife, 25, "work at the same job." They got married at the beginning of the year, and "this has been a wild month." He wrote: "At the beginning of the month we were talking about having kids and getting a house together. June 15th she went out with other coworkers and didn't come back home until 4am. Two days later she goes out again and this time doesn't come home until the next day. I was already livid at this point. "She played on my trust before she left which was the worst mistake I've made. When she came back home she said she was moving out and that we needed to be separated to have time to think before I made a rash decision so quickly," the poster wrote, adding: "I am divorcing her." Is the husband's reaction understandable or too rash?

Couple arguing. — A couple argue, with a man pointing his finger at the woman. A husband who decided to divorce his wife of less than a year after she "cheated" on him with a colleague has been... iStock / Getty Images Plus

Therapist Frank Thewes told Newsweek: "This man's wife breached trust in a way that would be impossible to forgive for many." He added that the husband "needed to end the marriage for his own sake." Licensed psychotherapist Mary Dobson told Newsweek that "while cheating is a fundamentally bad idea, it is frequently a last resort in the slow dissolution of a relationship." A 2013 study, published in the peer-reviewed journal Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice, found that the most commonly reported "major contributors to divorce" were a lack of commitment, infidelity and conflict/arguing. The most-common "final straw" reasons were infidelity, domestic violence, and substance use, the study found. The husband in the Reddit post wrote that his wife said that, when she went out on June 15, she was "just talking to the guy" about the couple's "relationship problems and nothing more" and there was "no physical contact." The husband added: "Reluctantly, I wanted to believe her because I've never had a reason not to. She's always been loyal and open to me." He wrote: "Out of respect for the work place we agreed to try to keep this under the rug at our job." The couple are keeping their distance from each other and "don't even look at each other" at work, but "people are catching on," according to the husband. He added: "I see nothing but rage when I see him at work. I feel nothing but worthlessness when I see her. She's already moving in with the guy. I don't know how much more of this I can tolerate. I want to seek help but I'm too scared about losing my job and not being able to pay my bills. That is all."

A Breakdown of Communication

Dobson is a licensed marriage and family therapist and the founder/CEO of the Lift Wellness Group. She said: "When someone uses a maladaptive behavior such as cheating to communicate with their partner, this is typically because traditional methods of communication have failed." Due to the communication breakdown or the husband's "inability or lack of desire to change," Dobson said the wife "sought comfort, ironically, through an affair (communication), with a colleague." Dobson added: "Infidelity is a messy and antisocial way of resolving her problems with the original poster. But ultimately, it is clear from her behavior that she wanted space from the original poster, and her colleague helped her to have the confidence to claim the space she had clearly been looking for."

'Sometimes Not Saving the Marriage Is the Best Choice'

Thewes is a licensed clinical social worker with a private practice based in Princeton, New Jersey. He said that "we don't know what truly caused the breakdown of this relationship" in the latest Reddit post. However, the wife has "signaled" that she is "not interested in their marriage surviving." Thewes added: "I'm not sure that there is anything that can be done to save this marriage, and it may not be worth saving at this point." The husband elected to divorce his wife over her actions, and Thewes said he'd support this move based upon what we know from the post: "Sometimes not saving the marriage is the best choice."

'No Respect'

Several users on Reddit sided with the poster and criticized the wife. Prudii_Skirata wrote: "People deserve respect when they give respect." SirEDCaLot agreed, posting: "You got no respect. She deserves none. Don't lie to protect her reputation. Next time someone asks what happened and why you're breaking up, just tell them straight up..." User daleicakes commented: "She's cheated on you and says she's moving in with someone else and has you thinking its a separation? No dude. Its being left for another man. If this is not grounds for divorce what is? She broke the marriage contract." Newsweek has contacted the original poster for comment via the Reddit messaging system. Do you have a similar story or dilemma to share? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.