The internet has backed a 23-year-old man who moved out of his parents' home and left them "in the lurch," once they asked him to start paying rent to live with them.
In a post shared on Reddit earlier in February, under the username u/LetterheadMaterial93, he explained that as he has been finishing his degree, he has already been working at a job in his field of study, which pays quite well. He added that he will get a full-time contract once he's done with his studies.
Meanwhile, he has been helping his working parents at home, being the eldest of five children. He wrote: "I have taken on a lot of the responsibilities for keeping everything running in the house. I do the grocery shopping, and the laundry as well as making suppers, and doing meal prep so everyone has lunches ready to take every day. I also get all my siblings to do their part with regard to household chores."
Stock images of a truck moving someone's belongings to a different house and of a young man having an argument with his parents. Another young adult decided to move out from his parents' home when...Stock images of a truck moving someone's belongings to a different house and of a young man having an argument with his parents. Another young adult decided to move out from his parents' home when they asked for rent. Getty ImagesAccording to the Pew Research Center, as of 2020, over 52 percent of adults aged between 18 and 29 were living at home with at least one of their parents.
Being able to put some money aside thanks to his job, the poster shared that over Christmas he bought himself a PlayStation 5, which he has kept locked in his room while the rest of his family use a PS4.
"My parents started fielding complaints from my oldest brother about how I made so much money and I don't share the things I buy for myself."
The parents agreed and asked him to pay rent.
"So they had a talk with me where they brought this up. I pointed out how much of the household work I did and they said it wasn't fair that I was earning so much money without contributing. They told me how much they expected from me."
He then realized that it would be easier and cheaper to get his own place, so he moved out.
He wrote: "My parents are upset that I left them in the lurch. My siblings are mad that they all have more chores. My oldest brother is especially salty because he has no free time to see his girlfriend and she isn't allowed in the house when my parents aren't home. I'm enjoying my free time. I bought myself a plant from IKEA."
'An Uncomfortable Position'
Soula Hareas, a licensed mental health counselor at McNulty Counseling and Wellness, told Newsweek that this entire situation is actually a blessing for the eldest son.
She said: "The fact that the parents put him in an uncomfortable position to force him to make the decision to move is great. This probably should have happened a while ago but he may have been afraid of their reaction. The reaction this family is having is one we see when an adult child decides to do something for themselves.
"The family cannot accept any responsibility for getting him to that uncomfortable position and instead place the blame externally. In this case, it is placed on him but I have seen it placed on friends, girlfriends, job, etc...It is too difficult to accept that maybe the adult child would enjoy spending time away from his family, which does not mean he doesn't love them! However, in their eyes, it is a form of rejection."
According to Hareas, no one likes to feel like something or someone else was chosen over them and this family is feeling that.
"They are also blind to the fact that he is an adult. They have pushed him and pushed him as if he is the schoolboy they've raised years ago who must obey. In their eyes, this is a boy being defiant not a man seeking independence. They feel as if he needs to work for the good of the family not the good of himself.
"This good of the family outweighs the good of the self and can become so overwhelming that the person feels trapped. This is what causes people to live almost a double life or move far away,"she said.
Hareas said good communication and time can fix such a situation.
"As long as he stays on course and does not get petty (even when they do) he will earn their respect as an independent adult. People take for granted what someone does for them and the person who is doing the helping is usually painted in a bad light if they can longer help so he needs to keep that in mind as well."
The post, initially shared on the r/AmItheA****** subreddit, where users discuss their actions with strangers, has now gone viral, receiving over 31,100 upvotes and 4,100 comments so far.
One user, Mogwai_92, commented: "If you 'left them in the lurch' that should be a flashing sign of how much you were contributing. I was ready to call you an [A******] but [you're] carrying the entire mental load of the household you shouldn't be expected to share the money you earn."
"Parents are allowed to ask their adult children for rent money if they want, but adult children are also allowed to decide that if they're going to be paying rent they'd rather be paying rent for their own space."
Another user, Fun_Key_3028, wrote: "They are all [The A*******]. Good for you for knowing your worth and taking the time to calculate everything out!"
And WhatTheFoxWrites added: "Now they get neither chores nor rent from you. They played themselves. Enjoy your apartment! They brought this on themselves, especially your oldest brother. They tried to screw you over and you didn't let it happen. Don't feel bad for them."
Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.
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