Mom Distraught Over Husband's Browser History Breaks Hearts: 'Just Cried'

A wife has described her shock and heartbreak on Reddit after discovering her husband's browsing history. The woman explains that she has been married for nine years, has two children, and leads a happy life. In an attempt to 'reconnect' after having children, the couple decided to explore bringing another man into their sex life. "We had one experience and it was great, but was uncontrollably cut short. So we've opened our minds to the possibility of trying to find a male friend. In the meantime, the husband gets a new job and is starting to travel," the user wrote. She says that the night before her husband was to leave for a work trip to Europe for 10 days, he asked her if it would be alright for him to meet a man and have sex. After saying no to him, she writes, "I couldn't talk. I just cried myself to sleep." She explains that her husband assured her he would not act on his suggestion.

The Reddit user was in for a second shock when she checked his internet browsing history the next day—only to find that her husband had created a sex dating profile based on the local area he would be in Europe. The woman found he had also spent many hours researching escorts, massages, and other such things in the area. "So...I'm just here, staring at our little kids, heartbroken and hiding it from the world," she concludes, adding that the trust is broken and the marriage may be over. The post has drawn sympathy from Reddit users with one person commenting, "Ugh so sorry- that's horrible. I guess you know the real person you married now. Best of luck in what you decide. You know he definitely looked into this and has broken your boundaries. Not sure there's a way to get back on track again knowing what he really wants." However, in an update, she says she confronted him on his return from Europe. "He immediately apologized for everything, he said he visited one strip club and one sex club while in Europe (he said he walked in, got grossed out, and walked out of the sex club), but stayed at the strip club for a few drinks...He's told me that he has definitely become desensitized over a span of many years of watching porn," she wrote. After giving him the ultimatum that she would leave with the children and tell everyone why, she says "he has been amazing to us since then. He has owned up to his word and kept his promises, so far. He has been communicating with me about so many things. He has decreased his porn habits by probably 90 percent...I feel like I'm seeing the person I married again. But I'm also so scared that when this "honeymoon" phase ends, what's next."

Newsweek spoke to clinical psychologist and author Cortney S. Warren about this difficult situation. Warren said: "Infidelity. Heartache. Secrets. Lack of intimacy. Emotional exhaustion. Financial hardship. Sleep deprivation and stress. These are all themes that many couples face as they weather the ups and downs of marriage, family life, and maintaining a romantic relationship while raising children. Yet, finding out that your partner is acting in ways that violate your relationship boundaries through an internet search can add to the shock, pain, and emotional upheaval related to romantic love." The expert said that honest vulnerability is key to intimacy. "Opening up to your mate is the mechanism through which real emotional closeness and attachment develop. Talking about your most intimate fears, wishes, dreams, and feelings is what will bring you closer to your partner—but it's really hard to do because you have to trust that your partner will hear you, love you, and stay by your side no matter what you share. So, honestly share with your mate." The psychologist encouraged openly communicating about sexual fantasies and desires with one's partner, even if it's awkward. She said: "Talking about new or different sexual interests can be difficult for many couples—particularly if they aren't heteronormative, don't fit in with cultural ideals of how a mate 'should' act, or are different from your historical expectations for your relationship. Yet, not talking about them doesn't make them go away and our sexual desires can change over time: what you and your partner want sexually from one another (and others outside of your marriage) may shift over time. Listen to your partner if they're struggling sexually and have curiosity about other lifestyle choices." She added: "Boundaries are critical. If you and your partner experiment with new sexual relationships, boundaries are key. At their core, boundaries are the expectations each of you has for your relationship that keep you feeling safe and secure with each other—what is okay and not okay with you. Then, act in good faith to live according to the boundaries you established together and shift them over time as you learn."

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Newsweek has reached out to u/justthrowitallaway82 for comment. Has infidelity broken your trust in your partner? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.