What Millennials Really Want for Valentine's Day

Forget grand gestures, all millennial couples want for Valentine's Day is a handwritten love letter and cozy night in, a poll reveals. The survey, conducted by Paired, an app for couples, asked 1,700 people in the U.S. what their ideal Valentine's Day looks like. The research shows that 38.68 percent of people aged 35 to 44 would choose a cozy night in over other options, such as a group celebration, fancy dinner reservations, a complete surprise or an adventure activity.

A similar 36.58 percent of people aged 25 to 34 also agreed that a low-key night in with their partner would be their ideal Valentine's Day. Love letters also hold a special place in millennials' hearts. Asked "Has anyone ever written you a love letter?," 23.86 percent of 25- to 34-year-olds and 20.83 percent of 35- to 44-year-olds said no but added that they "secretly want one." Additionally, a staggering 68.70 percent of 25- to 34-year-olds and 65.95 percent of 35- to 44-year-olds said that they had received one and that it "meant everything" to them. Two other age groups were also particularly fond of getting a love letter, with 70 percent of those aged 55 to 64 and 80 percent of baby boomers (over 65) giving the same answer. Aly Bullock, head of relationships at Paired, told Newsweek that love letters' appeal for millennials comes from reminiscing about their pre-technology childhoods. "There's something so romantic about a life before screens, and it shows in what they want for Valentine's Day—a handwritten love letter," she said. "Never before has it been so common to be best friends with your partner, and this shows in what millennials value—they want a life partner, someone to enjoy the quiet moments with, not just a flashy date." The research also showed that between 25 and 29 percent of millennials say their Valentine's Days have fallen short and have been disappointed by their experiences in the past. Bullock said the disappointment stems less from unrealistic expectations and more from uncommunicated expectations. "When it comes to a special day like Valentine's Day, people want their partner to show them love without having to spell it out," she said. "The problem is, they build up a story in their heads about what their partner might do, and when their partner chooses to show love in a different way, of course they feel disappointed. This is why Paired has released a Valentine's Vision question pack for couples this year, to help them get on the same page and avoid disappointment," Bullock said. Thoughtful gestures, like a handwritten love letter or having a cozy night in while eating a meal you've cooked with your other half, are meaningful because it's a chance to enjoy each other's company. For Bullock, thoughtful gestures go a long way. "They show that even amidst the craziness of your lives, you're still choosing each other, you're still best friends, and you still want to communicate how much your love means. Sometimes an expensive gift doesn't hit the same way," she said.